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By Contributing Writer Rob Pecknold
Rating: Average
---begin bad poetry---
Years ago, longer now than it seems, in a place you may remember in your
dreams, Diablo was unleashed to stores far and wide, gaming publications
scores were high'd. A marathon of clicking this Diablo was, but it sold
nonetheless due to pre-release buzz. Now years have passed, Diablo's been
beat, and now Diablo 2 we must all greet. Anticipating hours of fun and
innovation, I installed the huge game without hesitation. Imagine my
surprise after a full install, to boot up the game and have it not work at
all!
So I installed the patches, and new drivers to boot, but as with most PC
games, this point is moot. Upon restarting and opening the game, I was
treated to a cinema that was anything but lame. Detail and beauty were
bouncing off the walls, through the ceiling and down the halls. Upon the
end of the cinema, my jaw wide open, I picked it up off the floor to find
it was broken. Back from the hospital almost two days since, the game
could begin and playing could commence...
---end bad poetry---
I don't understand the whole craze surrounding Diablo 2, and I don't
find the game itself to be a whole lot of fun. While I'm certainly not
going to change the mind of any Diablo 2 fanatics, I am going to give you
my side of the story and hopefully make you realize that Diablo 2 is not
the flawless game that some people make it out to be.
In Diablo 2, you can play as any one of five different character classes,
with the paladin being the most well-rounded, the barbarian being strong
but slow, and so on. You probably know the way it works by now. These
five character classes don't make Diablo 2 five different games in one, but
they do allow you to experience the same game in five different ways.
The game's story is originality at its best: the return of the previous
game's main threat for no tangible reason. You begin the game in a Rogue
Encampment in the West, where a local trader's route east is blocked by a
spider-looking chick. Before you can defeat her and clear the trader's
path east-ward, you must perform many random, life-threatening deeds that
are thrust upon you by strangers. These strangers are obviously intent on
killing those they don't know by giving them tedious and potentially deadly
tasks to complete. I'm all for a bad story and incoherent quests (wait a
minute... no I'm not), but this is ridiculous. It's like fighting a war
over ice cream.
So, a bunch of strangers send you on dangerous quests and then act
pleasantly surprised when you return safely (but you just know they're
really thinking, "Blast! Foiled again!"). I can sometimes forgive bad
plots in games, but only if the game has enough redeeming qualities to make
up for the lack of a good story. Unfortunately, Diablo 2 does not.
The control is basic as can be, which is great if you're interested in
ease of use, but not if you're interested in depth. Not only do the
graphics fail to be a big improvement over the first Diablo, but it almost
seems like they have actually gotten worse. The music is utterly
forgettable because it never helps to make any of the scenes more intense
or enjoyable. It's just mundane background music that fails to do what
game music is supposed to do: enhance the feel of the game.
But the heart of the game is in the actual gameplay, right? Well, I'm
sorry, but my idea of a good time is not pointing and clicking repeatedly
on an ugly screen and occasionally hitting the "1" key to regain some
health. I'm all for simplicity in games if depth is also there, but not
when it's so simplistic that it can make your eyes go in and out of focus
until you get a headache.
Diablo 2 does have some redeeming qualities, but not enough to make up
for its shortcomings. It occasionally resembles something fun, and there
are some cool pseudo-3D effects in the game. There are also some smart and
endearing references to the original game (see the city of Tristram for
some good examples), and some of the monsters explode pretty nicely. Oh,
and the dungeons are well-programmed and designed, but that's just about it
in terms of redeeming qualities.
I'll be the first to admit that this review is a rare occurrence. I
want to make it clear that all of this is just my opinion and not
necessarily the opinion of Ivan Trembow, Jimmy Payne, or Ken Griffey Jr.
Actually, Ken Griffey Jr. probably isn't thinking about video games right
now. He's probably thinking, "Wah! I couldn't hit home runs in Safeco
Field because I suck, and the team I thought would be nothing without me is
now a World Series contender."
Diablo 2 has become the fastest-selling PC game of all time because
millions of gamers across the globe think it's a great game. As many of
you have undoubtedly been pissed off to discover, I am not one of those
millions. To me, it's just random clicking. Nothing innovative, nothing
fun, nothing worth spending $50 on. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to
prepare myself for all the hate mail I'm sure to receive, plus the 1976
Chevy Firebirds that are going to pull up in front of my driveway blasting
Elvis music and throwing rocks at my windows before speeding off yelling
obscenities...
Send your thoughts on this review to rob@mastergamer.com
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