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After going for months without playing Quake 2, I was more than a little rusty when I started playing it again a while back. Quite frankly, I sucked, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. I would still try to play once every few days, but most of the time I stunk up the games I was in and quit the game feeling like a loser (probably because I was a loser...). However, I have just proven to myself that I don't suck anywhere near as much as I thought I did. Sometimes I still suck, but sometimes I rock. Strangely enough, I go back and forth from sucking to rocking all the time. It's like I have two split personalities: Idiot Ivan and Invincible Ivan (catchy, eh?). I played the other day and joined a game that was already about 1/3 of the way through (first to 20 kills wins), and I quickly jumped out in the lead. I couldn't believe that I was so good all of a sudden. However, I turned right back into my old, crappy self towards the end of the game, but I still finished in second place with 14 kills. Once I transform into Idiot Ivan, there is usually no turning back. Quake 2 is such an involving game that I think a lot of it is mental. Once I start getting my butt whipped, it just gets worse and worse because I think to myself during every encounter, "Oh no, he's going to kill me." When I'm Invincible Ivan, I'm usually thinking something much more useful, such as, "A little to the right... there... BANG!" I then played two more games and absolutely sucked in both of them, although they only lasted about three or four minutes each before somebody got 20 kills. I've never been really good at the style of game where there are tons of players and tons of kills taking place at all times. Whenever I enter into a situation where there are six people in a room, all of them holding down the fire button and praying, it seems that I usually end up being one of the first to die. Maybe it's my slow connection, but it seems that whenever something comes down to luck in Quake 2, I'm the unlucky one. After getting my butt whipped in those two games, I said my signature goodbye line: "In the words of Shawn Michaels, 'F--- this s---'" (of course, most people have no idea what this means, but it was actually what Shawn Michaels said when he momentarily quit the WWF after a real-life fight with Bret Hart a few years back). I then left the game feeling dejected as usual. But I still had a glimmer of hope that maybe the Quake 2 beast sleeping within me was beginning to stir and could wake up (and stay awake) at any time. Sure enough, when I went back to play more later, Invincible Ivan made quite the appearance. This server had no frag limit and a 20-minute time limit, which I think is actually a better setting because it gives you more time to get re-acquainted with the map and get into a groove. The level in the first game was The Slimy Place. Before I knew it, I was everywhere, taking people out with Hyperblasters, Super Shotguns, and just about any other weapon I could get my hands on. I was nowhere near the leader (who had a number of kills in the 30s or 40s), but I had like 15 or 20 having played only the second ten minutes of the game. I was having fun and playing very competitively, so I stayed on for another game and proceeded to play even better in the next game. The map we played on in the second game had a lot of long corridors, so I used a lot of long-range weapons like the Chain Gun, Hyperblaster, Machine Gun, and the almighty Rail Gun, which is definitely one of the best weapons ever in any video game. My self-confidence was built up to the point that on the several occasions where I found myself with a Blaster against somebody with a Rail Gun or Hyperblaster, I didn't just stand there waiting to die, I went at them with all I had. It's a great feeling to watch a rail-gun-wielding foe circle around frantically trying to get you in his sights while you keep eluding him and plugging away with the Blaster, and watch as he eventually falls over, leaving you with the Rail Gun you so diligently earned. The leader in this game and the previous game was a great player by the name of Sir Larry. He must have killed me like 20 games in the first game, but in the second game we were going neck and neck for the lead. We were the only two players to finish with over 30 kills in the 20-minute game. He ended up edging me by the score of 36-34, but I had had a great time and played the best (and most intense) game of Quake 2 I can ever remember having. After the next map loaded, I got killed four or five times and sensed that Idiot Ivan was coming out to play, so I decided to go while I was on top and leave the game. Of course, I didn't give my Shawn Michaels signature line and instead told everybody that I had fun playing with them and I would see them later. The next day Invincible Ivan was sighted again as I finished with 25 kills in a 10-minute game, once again coming in second place. At one point in that game, I found myself face to face with not one, but two players with Super Shotguns, but I blew them both away with a single rail gun shot just a split second before they would have shot me. Awesome. As frustrating and maddening as it can be at times, there is almost nothing in life as satisfying as a good, competitive, intense game of Quake 2. E-mail me with your thoughts on this column at ivan@mastergamer.com. And if you'd like to slap me around and bring out the Idiot Ivan within me, you can find me on mplayer.com as Ivan42.
© 2001 ivan@mastergamer.com