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Target: On what?!? (as if I had just asked her to solve a complex geometric
equation)
Ivan: It's a new system coming out from Sega. I don't know much about it
and I was hoping you would.
Target: I haven't heard a word about it. Nope, I don't know anything about
that.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. Enough said.
KB Toys: What kind of information did you need?
Ivan: I mean like what games are coming out for it and is it supposed to be
a really good system?
KB Toys: Right now we're pre-selling it and a lot of games. There's Sonic
Adventure, Ready 2 Rumble, NFL 200, NFL Blitz 200, Power Store, Mortal
Kombat, CART Racing, Hydro Thunder, Soul Calibur, Virtua Fighter 3, and a
bunch of others.
Ivan: Is the system supposed to be really good?
KB Toys: Yeah, from what I've heard it's supposed to be really good. One
employee at the store is really excited about it and he says it's awesome.
From what I've heard, it's supposed to blow all the other systems out of
the water.
Ivan: Is it also more powerful than the other systems?
KB Toys: Yes, it is. The graphics are much more vibrant and detailed and
it's much more powerful.
THE VERDICT: Smart. She was clearly reading the list of games off a piece
of paper, and even then she told me about NFL 200, NFL Blitz 200, and Power
Store instead of NFL 2000, NFL Blitz 2000, and Power Stone. Still,
compared to the morons at other retailers, she's smart just for knowing
what the system is and having at least some knowledge in her own head and
not on a piece of paper.
Circuit City: I don't have any information on that. I don't think we're
going to be carrying it. We're just sticking with the PlayStation and then
we'll get the PlayStation 2 when that comes out, but we're not carrying the
Sega system.
THE VERDICT: Semi-Stupid. They are not obligated to know anything about
the Dreamcast if they're not going to be carrying it, but this person
didn't seem completely sure that they wouldn't be carrying it.
Sears: Um, hold on one moment please (after a one minute, 15-second wait)
I can try to help you. I don't know much about these games, and the guy
who does is busy right now. So, what did you want to know about?
Ivan: The Sega Dreamcast. I wanted to know what games are coming out for
it and if it looks like a really good system.
Sears: Uh... he's with a customer right now, but he'll be right with you as
soon as he's done, OK? (after 40 more seconds of waiting, "he" gets on the
phone). Yeah, that's the new system from Sega. It's looking really good.
I don't know a whole lot about it, but I'm sure if you called the guys at
Babbage's, they would be able to tell you more.
Ivan: So does it look like the Dreamcast will be a really good gaming
system?
Sears: Yeah, I predict that the graphics will be really good. Much better
than anything on the Nintendo 64 or PlayStation.
Ivan: Is the Dreamcast more powerful than those systems?
Sears: Yeah, a lot more powerful. It's 128-bit, and that means it can
perform 128 operations at once like sound and color and sharpness of
graphics. The N64 is only 64 bits, so obviously the Dreamcast can do a lot
more than the N64. The system is coming out on September 9, I believe, and
I think the suggested retail price was $300 the last time I heard. Like I
said, you should call Babbage's. They will be able to tell you more since
they are mainly a video game store.
THE VERDICT: Semi-Smart. After the initial ditz that thought she couldn't
help me, then thought she could, then knew she couldn't, the guy I spoke
with seemed to know what he was talking about. However, he lost a lot of
credibility when he told me that the system can perform 128 operations at
once and costs $300.
Only Babbage's, Toys R Us, and KB Toys were able to offer any useful
information. The sad thing is that we're not talking about some obscure
product here; we're talking about what is probably the biggest console
launch ever, and it's just weeks away. I was shocked by the amount of
retailers who didn't even know what the Dreamcast is. Inexcusable.
QUESTION #3
For the third and final question, I asked retailers what PlayStation
RPGs they would recommend that I buy. I wanted to see whether they even
knew what an RPG is, and also whether they knew the difference between
mega-hits like Final Fantasy 7 and flops like Saga Frontier and Tales of
Destiny.
Ivan: Hi. What role-playing-games do you have for the PlayStation?
Babbage's: What role-playing-games do I have for the PlayStation? Well, I
have Final Fantasy 7, I have Shadow Madness, I have Star Ocean: The Second
Story... were you looking for one in particular?
Ivan: Not really, I just want to know which ones would you recommend.
Babbage's: Well, Final Fantasy 7 is really good, and Lunar: The Silver Star
Story is really good. That's a recent game from Working Designs. And Star
Ocean is also very good. Those are probably the top three that I would
recommend.
THE VERDICT: Smart. Once again, Babbage's nailed it right on the head by
recommending both the greatest PlayStation RPGs and the most recent ones.
Toys R Us: Role-playing? Oh gosh! Probably too many to list... uh...
Ivan: I mean which one would you recommend or which ones would you
recommend.
Toys R Us: You mean like scaring the wits out of you?
Ivan: What do you mean?
Toys R Us: Like Resident Evil... is that what you mean?
Ivan: I mean like a big adventure where you go out and get in a bunch of
fights and the story line is probably the focal point of the game.
Toys R Us: Well, there's Silent Hill. I think that's a role-playing-game.
Ivan: So is that the one you would recommend?
Toys R Us: Well, that's our newest one... oh gosh... (awkward pause)...
there's Syphon Filter. I think that's a role-playing-game. There's lots
of shooting and stuff in that one. (awkward pause) Tomb Raider is also
role-playing, I think.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. What kind of gamer doesn't know what an RPG is? I'll
tell you what kind: The kind that's not really a gamer, but works at a
store selling them despite their complete lack of knowledge.
Wal Mart: Sorry?
Ivan: What role-playing-games do you have in for the Sony PlayStation?
Wal Mart: Uh... we've got a whole bunch of them. I really can't go over
all of them because there's so many, and I really don't know which ones are
role-playing and which aren't off the top of my head. Were you looking for
anything in particular?
Ivan: No, I just wanted to know what you would recommend.
Wal Mart: I don't have any recommendation. I really don't play PlayStation
games, and I don't think anyone here at the moment does.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. She had no idea what an RPG is. At least she didn't
recommend a bunch of RPGs that aren't in fact RPGs like some other stores
did.
K-Mart: What kind of game?
Ivan: An RPG, or role-playing-game.
K-Mart: Oh, a role-playing-game? OK, hold on a second, let me check...
(minute and a half wait) Well, I know we have Tomb Raider, but I don't know
exactly what kind of game you're looking for. It depends on what kind of
audience it is for the game.
Ivan: It would probably be more mature gamers playing role-playing-games.
K-Mart: You mean like teenagers and adults?
Ivan: Well, kids could play them, too. They're not really violent or
anything like that.
K-Mart: Yeah, I don't know. I couldn't really tell you. That's too much
to ask me, to tell you the truth. There's so many different kinds of games.
Everything from sports to animation and things like that. It depends on
who your audience is. They all have... not stickers, but ratings on them
to let you know who they're supposed to be viewed by. We've got Ape Escape,
that's the newest one, and Tarzan. There's so many different kinds of
games. There's football games and baseball games, and there's games like
Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. Telling a customer who is asking a simple and easy
question that it's "too much to ask me" is a disgrace to the entire retail
community. Going on an endless psycho-babble about Ape Escape and Tarzan
and football games and baseball games and Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune
does not change the fact that she had absolutely no idea what I was talking
about.
Target: Hmm... RPGs... were you looking for anything in particular?
Ivan: I just want to know which ones you would recommend.
Target: Umm... probably Legend of Legaia (pronounced here LAY-GEE-UH)... or
Legaia (LIE-GEE-UH)... I'm not quite sure how to spell it. Different
people say it different ways. But yeah, that's the game people have been
hunting for lately.
Ivan: So that's the one you think I should buy?
Target: Yeah, that would probably be the best one.
THE VERDICT: Semi-Smart. At least this person knew what an RPG is, but his
recommendation of Legend of Legaia seemed to come more from people buying
it a lot than his actually thinking it's the best RPG for me to buy.
KB Toys: Hang on just a second.
Ivan: OK. (I hold for a while. Throughout the time I'm holding, I hear
noises as if someone is handling the phone. Finally, after two and a half
minutes, they hang up on me. I call back, and after five rings, someone
finally answers.) Hi, I called a second ago and was disconnected while I
was on hold. So, do you know what role-playing-games I should get for the
PlayStation?
KB Toys: Are you looking for any game in particular?
Ivan: No, I just want to know which ones you would recommend.
KB Toys: Hold on... (30-second hold, and then someone picks up the phone.
I believe it is a different person, but I can't tell for sure.) The best
PlayStation role-playing-games?
Ivan: Yes, that's what I'm looking for.
KB Toys: Parasite Eve.
Ivan: That's the best one, you think?
KB Toys: That and Syphon Filter. That's pretty cool. Silent Hill is pretty
cool, but that's more for adults. It has some graphic... (there is a pause
and she never completes her sentence). Metal Gear Solid is OK, that's a
pretty good game. There's really so many of them out that it just depends
what you're into.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. And rude. As I have found out while working on this
feature, different retailers have different ways of handling it when they
have absolutely no idea what the customer is talking about. While I can't
prove it, it seemed very clear to me that this retailer decided to put me
on hold until I hang up, or hang up on me if I don't do it, and then not
answer the phone if I call back. Then, when I finally got an answer, they
recommended one crappy action/RPG and three non-RPGs.
Circuit City: OK, let me go take a look for you real quick. (one minute
hold, and a different person picks up) What was the question? I'm a
different guy here. I'm sort of the PlayStation guy.
Ivan: I wanted to know what role-playing-games you have or would recommend
for the PlayStation?
Circuit City: Umm... probably Star Ocean. We're all sold of it right now,
but it's supposed to be really good. There's also Legend of Legaia
(correctly pronounced). That's supposed to be a good one, too. I've
played a demo of Star Ocean and some of the guys here played it, and it's
pretty cool. I don't know if you've heard of it, but it has 80 different
endings supposedly.
THE VERDICT: Smart. This person knew what an RPG is, and he recommended
two of them that are both recent and decent.
Sears: Children's department.
Ivan: Is this the video game department?
Sears: Yes...
Ivan: OK, what role-playing-games do you have for the Sony PlayStation?
Sears: What kind of game?
Ivan: A role-playing game.
Sears: A role-playing game? Hold on just a second... (30-second pause)
What game were you looking for?
Ivan: I just wanted to know which role-playing-games you would recommend or
which ones are supposed to be the best.
Sears: Oh gosh, I don't know. (She says "Do you know which ones are the
best?" to another employee, then comes back to me.) I don't know anything
about 'em.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. This person had no idea what an RPG is. At least she
didn't hang up on me...
Achhh! Only three of the eight retailers I called (Babbage's, Target,
and Circuit City) knew what an RPG is! One of them told me I was asking
too much of her! One of them hung up on me! I think I'm getting a head-
ache...
So, in conclusion, KB Toys and Sears were dumb, Toys R Us and Target
were dumber, and Wal-Mart and K-Mart were the dumbest. Babbage's and
(somewhat surprisingly) Circuit City were the only retailers that didn't
make complete fools of themselves. In particular, the sales clerks at
Babbage's really knew what they were talking about, and every single person
I talked to at Babbage's seemed like a real hardcore gamer. For this
reason, I would definitely recommend going to Babbage's for your game-
buying needs, even if their prices are often a few bucks higher. The sick
truth is that if you go anywhere else, it is very likely that you'll find
yourself face to face with some moron who knows a lot less about video
games than you do.
Send your thoughts on this feature to me at ivan@mastergamer.com
Responses from retailers and non-retailers alike are welcome.
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© 2001 ivan@mastergamer.com