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By Contributing Writer Jimmy Payne Therapist: Hello Mr. Hoosenwafle. What are we here for today? Jeeter Hoosenwafle: Well Doc, I've got problems... bad ones. Therapist: Oh, well please explain. I'm sure it's nothing I can't handle. Jeeter: OK, it's like this. A few weeks ago, I got this game called "Pokemon" for Christmas. Ever since that day I've been playing almost non-stop. I think I've become a Poke-Maniac. I can't stop myself! Therapist (gets worried look on his face): I see. I’ve heard about your kind. So how long would you say you’ve been playing for? Jeeter: Well, it started out about an hour a day. Then it grew to five hours a day. Then to seven... then to nine. I find myself bringing it to school and caressing my Game Boy Color with Pokemon inside of it whenever I get a free moment. It’s my baby. Therapist (moves away from Jeeter slowly): Well, it could be worse, I suppose. Do you have any side effects or symptoms from playing that long? Jeeter: I sometimes have nightmares about it being confiscated from me at school. I wake up in the middle of the night screaming "Pika" with an occasional "Chu" at the end of it. I also go into cold sweats when I have to turn it off. I sometimes go without eating so I can keep playing and avoid the cold sweats. Therapist: Have you tried playing other games? Jeeter: You mean to tell me there are other games other than Pokemon?! Oh yeah, I vaguely remember a game called Welda... no Selda... well, something alone those lines. It doesn’t matter, though, because NOTHING CAN TAKE ME AWAY FROM MY POKEMON! (Pulls out Pokemon cartridge and caresses it) Did daddy scare you? I’m sorry, I’ll never yell like that again. Therapist: Umm... moving on. Do you have any family, Jeeter? Jeeter: No. Therapist: Where do you live? Jeeter: I can’t remember... Therapist: Do you have any personal possesions? Jeeter: Yes. Pokemon. Therapist (getting annoyed): No, I mean other than Pokemon. Jeeter: None that I can remember... Therapist (searching for something else to say, but can't think of much): Well, Jeeter, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. This obsession will probably only last for a short time. Before you know it, you will forget all about Pokemon and you will be able to move on and live a normal life. Thank you for coming and I hope you’re feeling better soon. Jeeter: Thanks Doc. (walks out of building, pulls out Game Boy, and chuckles to himself) Hehe... that’s what he thinks... he must have forgotten about Pokemon versions Gold and Silver coming out later this year... You can e-mail Jimmy at jimmy@mastergamer.com
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