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Rating: Crappy Star Ocean: The Second Story is one of the worst RPGs I have ever played. First of all, the graphics are fancy, but still somewhat ugly. Old-school RPGs like Lunar: Silver Star Story and Wild Arms are a lot less techno- logically advanced than Star Ocean, but are still a lot more visually appealing. The music is generic and boring, and it is also very repetitive. The tune that plays when you start up Final Fantasy 7 has been blatantly stolen in Star Ocean, with only small variations to try to mask its lack of originality. The game's 80 endings make for a nice bullet point on the box, but can you stay awake long enough to access any of them? Right from the start, the intro is very un-exciting, with extensive credits rolling in place of the "wow factor" that a game's intro is supposed to provide. When I started playing the actual game, I was disappointed to find that the story line is generic, predictable, and more boring that any other RPG I've ever played. The characters are more irritating than they are likable, and like the rest of the game, they're just plain dull. The awkward dialogue ruins any remaining chance that you could like any of the characters or identify with them. Whether or not the dialogue was this awkward in the Japanese version of the game, it is the half-hearted translation that really cripples Star Ocean. It's nowhere near as smooth or fluid as anything from Square or Working Designs. Both the way things are worded and the actual word choice were completely botched in the translation from Japanese to English. A good RPG lets you roam freely and engage in as much or as little conversation as you want, while Star Ocean locks you somewhere and forces you to read every last word. Not only is Star Ocean's dialogue a lot worse than the dialogue in good RPGs like Lunar, but it's even more hard to enjoy when it's constantly being shoved down your throat. One of the most annoying things about the conversations in the game are the icons that constantly appear above the characters' heads, such as an exclamation mark representing surprise. Besides shattering the game's believability (when's the last time an exclamation mark popped up over your head?), this makes an already painfully slow game even slower due to the pauses that come before and after them. The actual length of each pause isn't much, but when there's dozens of them in a short period of time, it becomes maddening. The typical flow of a conversation might go something like this: 1. one character says something 2. awkward pause 3. an icon pops up over somebody's head 4. awkward pause 5. repeat In addition to being annoying, the icons constantly popping up over the characters' heads is nothing more than an effort by the developers to take the easy way out of writing the game's dialogue. It's a lot easier to put an icon over somebody's head than it is to skillfully convey surprise and other emotions in well-thought-out dialogue. The developers of the game managed to screw up just about everything else in the game's design. For example, if you've got two characters walking around a town and both are constantly talking, what makes more sense? A) Have one character walk behind the other B) Have one character walk inside of the other, then walk back out when she has something to say, then walk back into the other character when she's done talking The designers of this game chose B, which leads me to believe that they either have very little programming ability or they're just plain stupid. Combine the characters walking in and out of one another with the icons popping up above their heads, and the nausea-inducing result goes something like this: 1. one character says something 2. a character walks out of another charater's body 3. awkward pause 4. an icon pops up over somebody's head 5. awkward pause 6. another character says something 7. awkward pause 8. the character who previously walked out of another character's body walks back into that character's body 9. awkward pause 10. repeat (but do not lather or rinse) If reading all that gave you a head-ache, imagine what you would feel like after being forced to sit through the above scenario time after time after time. Star Ocean is a very mind-numbing game, and not in a Civilization 2 "I can't stop playing" sort of way. Instead, it's in its own unique "I have to stop playing now or my head will explode" sort of way. It's generally not a good sign when a game gives the player constant urges to jump out of their chair and turn it off. So if you want a good RPG, go pick up Lunar, or buy Final Fantasy 8 when it comes out (or do both). But whatever you do, star far, far away from Star Ocean: The Second Story. Send your thoughts on this review to ivan@mastergamer.com
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